As a young girl my one dream was to marry and have children. One day in a doctor’s office, when I was 15 years of age, I was given the blunt news that if I didn’t stop the destructive dietary path I was on, I would probably never be able to conceive. This was the magic pill I needed to end a year of living with anorexia nervosa. Eating was the only thing I had complete control of, and the more others noticed, the better I became at it.
At the age of 19 I walked down the aisle for the first time, young, innocent and ready for adventure. It certainly was an adventure, as shortly afterward we moved to Papua New Guinea for the following two and a half years where the marriage disintegrated and ended in divorce. I quickly entered into another relationship and became pregnant within six months. We moved back to Australia and created a lovely life where I had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mum to my two beautiful daughters. However things started to crumble when our relationship became destructive. I became a shell of my former self and withdrew emotionally, becoming depressed and ill. After eight years together we decided to separate.
Over the next few years when my girls were young, I was in another relationship that was again, unhealthy. Soon after this broke down I met my next husband and we went on to marry and have two sons together. We built a large business which was successful for a few years and exciting to be a part of. Unfortunately, with the risks we took with the business, we began to feel the pressure financially and eventually the business ended in bankruptcy.
As this marriage also began to become rocky and eventually end, I found myself searching for something but wasn’t really sure what it was. Over the years I had joined network marketing companies, started my own business, tried different sports and although I was successful, nothing really satisfied the desire I had deep inside.
I went to a psychologist to try and make sense of what was going on with my life, as I was feeling like such a failure in all my relationships and was desperate to fill that void. As the psychologist I saw preached holistic health, I began to explore alternate therapies such as kinesiology, tapping and spiritual healing. This was truly an awakening and I wanted to learn how to assist people the same way I had been helped, so I enrolled to study kinesiology. As I was completely my clinical practice hours, my hands began to do the healing work independent of me; I was channelling these amazing energetic healing patterns through my body. I trusted and allowed and the results were being felt as I worked on clients.
A year later, when I had just separated from my third husband, I embarked on a spiritual retreat to Machhu Pichu. When I returned I began channelling the ancient light language of the Spirit Masters and was told to use this dialogue in my healing sessions. My life completely changed as I found my true soul calling; spiritual healing. For the past four years I have been living a life more true to myself. This has also been the first time since I started dating my first husband at 16, where I have been single for more than a few months, and I have really enjoyed getting to know myself and am learning how to love myself and change the old patterns of my past.
I now live a truly blessed life filled with amazing people and family, doing work that feeds my soul. My story doesn’t have a firework ending, but I’ve learnt that’s not what life’s about; it’s about finding happiness in all the little things and being grateful for what you have. When you start forgiving yourself and start accepting yourself completely, you will too step into the light.