Five years after the sudden and tragic passing of one of my amazing sons, I can honestly say that my feelings about Dan’s passing are those of love and gratitude. I know this statement may shock a few people, especially coming from a mother. It is through this event however, that I am now living my life, consciously, more aware, healthier, making a difference and loving the person who smiles back at me each morning as I look in the mirror.
On Sunday the 10th July 2011, my husband and I woke to find an unconscious Dan lying at our back door. After trying to wake him, we called an ambulance and ten minutes later they informed us that Dan had passed away several hours earlier. We were in shock. How does a supposedly healthy 27 year old go out with his mates and die a few hours later?
The true answer came a few months later, when I chatted with Dan through a psychic friend. Yes he had been out and drank way too much, though it was his lungs that failed him. He fell over and couldn’t take a breath, as they were severely damaged two years prior from when he had pneumonia and spent a week in a hospital in Scotland.
At the time of Dan’s passing, I was a Chief Financial Officer (CFO) of a publicly listed company. I loved my life, though in hindsight I was actually, working too much, drinking too much and definitely eating too much. I was very much in a “ground hog day daze” and I did not even realise it. I was perceived as being very successful; I had the job, the salary, the contacts, the house, the car, the family and the overseas holidays. Though in reality I was not empowered in all seven areas of my life i.e. mentally, professionally, financially, socially, family, physically and spiritually.
As I didn’t know how to be a grieving mother, I immediately went back to work after Dan’s funeral. I engrossed myself in my job, working even longer hours. Of course, the universe was not happy with me ignoring the first knock on the door for me to start empowering all areas of my life, so about 15 months later I was made redundant (laid off) from my CFO role. Even though this was my choice, for a couple of days I went into the blame-game and how dare they do this to me. Then as I started to come out of the “ground hog day daze”, I started to realise that this may be the best thing that ever happened to me.
That is right; I had time to take a breath, a long deep belly breath. You know the one, when you slowly breathe in and feel like you are getting a new sense of hope and vitality, and as you breathe out you feel you are releasing all the stale energy that has been keeping you stuck, unfulfilled and un-energised. I honestly started to feel (and now ‘know’) that Dan had me by the shoulders, guiding me this way and was saying “Ok Mum, you never listened to me when I was alive, now is the time for you to empower your life, live with purpose and start to become the woman you came here to be. Namely serve people and make a difference.”
Very quickly I began to realise how much easier my life would have been if I had these tools whilst I was a CFO. I would have had more joy, passion, energy, time, been more productive and every relationship would have been better. I also started to realise how much more conducive the workplace would have been, as everyone would have followed my lead. Yes I did a disservice to myself and my company by not realising that the health of the bottom line is directly correlated to the health of the employees.
And that is why I now do what I do – inspire women to empower their lives. I love that I have found my creative side and can assist others to have the courage to live the life they came here to live.
If you are currently going through a perceived negative event or situation, please look for the lesson. Everything happens in order to assist you to grow and the sooner you get the lesson, the less on you. Have to love our language!!